Countdown to our 20th Year Anniversary!

Max had an idea for a celebration: In COVID-19 fashion. for 20 days we will watch a movie per day that represents the last twenty years we have been together.

We have so far watched a total of 16 movies as today marks the 17th day of our 20 day 20th-anniversary celebration. Allow me to share with you the movies we have seen, so far. 

Summary:

Day 1 - What lies beneath, 2000

Day 2 - The Fellowship of the Ring, 2001

Day 3 - Signs, 2002

Day 4 - Love Actually, 2003

Day 5 - The Incredibles, 2004

Day 6 - Just like Heaven, 2005

Day 7 - Man of the Year, 2006

Day 8 - Bourne Ultimatum, 2007

Day 9 - Wall-e, 2008

Day 10 - Up, 2009

Day 11 - Avatar, 2010

Day 12 - Captain America, 2011

Day 13 - Les Miserables, 2012

Day 14 - Superman, Man of Steel. 2013

Day 15 - 22 Jumpstreet, 2014

Day 16 - The Peanuts Movie, 2015

Each of these movies represented the most memorable movie we saw that year. The movie we picked wasn't necessarily the best, but the movie we eventually picked to represent the year really took us back - which is the point of the exercise. We wanted to reminisce on that year and feel grateful for having been a couple through it. 

Tonight is Day 17 and the movie that represents 2016 is of course Star Trek Beyond as Max is a proud Trekkie. But I also really loved this movie and the other two reimagined Star Trek movies that came before it.

To be with someone for this long, to be with, not only with the love of your life but my best friend is more than I could ever ask for. 25 years ago I was content with my commitment to focus on the kids. Only after they all graduated, would I allow myself to entertain the notion of being with someone, but the Lord had other plans. 

Having journeyed with Max through it all was so worthwhile, I wouldn't mind doing it all over again in my next life (if there ever is one for me).  I know that I will find him and love him just as much in any other lifetime. 

Wow, 20 years!😍 I hope we can have 20 more years or as much time God will bless us with. 💗

P.S.: Thank you for reading this blog post. There is a part two, on the day of our 20th year! 💕

Revisiting an old post and looking forward to our 20th year together

While I was on Instagram, I received a message from a friend; it appeared to be a reply to a year old post. She messaged me to tell me how happy she was that I found "my forever" in Max.

To put you in context, below is the post she responded to.


18th Anniversary Snapshots.

Whenever I tell people that Max and I have been together for 18 years, they are amazed at how long we have been together. Max and I feel like we have known each other our whole lives. I personally can't picture my life without him anymore.

But do you know what else? As you allow yourself to not just be with someone this long, but to love a person with everything that you are for this long, you also know what it feels like to be hurt by him, and you also know the extent of your power to hurt him, too.

I've been suffering from mental illness probably my whole life, but it got worse over the years. Max saw me through it all, and he continues to journey with me every time I would get insecure, insanely jealous, and possessive. He saw me through bouts of depression, and several suicide attempts, and saw me through very difficult times when I struggled with my debilitating panic attacks. He holds my hand and puts me to sleep when I get nightmares/flashbacks. You can say that I am here with you now typing this because of him. He is one of the reasons why I know the Lord loves me in spite of my inadequacies and frailty (maybe more so because of my numerous weaknesses) because He sent me my very own angel on Earth.

Praise be to God for our 18 years together. Praying for 18 more.

--

It is very easy to remember how many years Max and I have been together because we decided to make our relationship official in October of 2000 so this year, 2020, we will be celebrating our 20th year! Can you imagine that?

TWENTY LONG years! Who would have thought we would survive 20 long years! But honestly, a part of me knew he was and will always be the ONLY ONE for me. Of course, I cannot speak for Max, but I think it's safe to assume that he feels the same way, and I am glad that he does.

Max and I became an official couple in October of 2000, but unknown to most people, we were supposed to get married in December of that year.  What most people don't know is that Max never asked me to be his girlfriend first. What he asked me on October 26 back in 2000, is if I could be his wife; that is the kind of man Max is. If you ask him why he will just say that he took the lessons he learned from the movie Jerry Maguire seriously. 

Jerry Maguire the movie was shown in 1996, the year before I met Max. The Lord wanted him to watch the movie before he met me, and I don't think that was a coincidence. 

Trailer:

After I broke up with the father of my kids, I consulted a lawyer and he told me that getting my marriage annulled was going to be easy, in fact, he said that my case technically fell under "Canonical Nullity" (versus Annulment). The difference he explained to me was that all we really needed to do was establish that the marriage was null and void from the very beginning. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my eldest, and 19 when I gave birth to my 3rd child (my youngest). 

When I got pregnant at 16, my parents (and the father's) wanted us to live together without sinning further so my Mom sought help from the roman catholic church and Cardinal Sin (who was a friend of my mother) assigned a priest that would give both me and the father (fine, my boyfriend) a blessing called 'Pastoral Compassion' which according to him was recognized by the Vatican and given to "special cases" such as ours. This blessing also came with a commitment from both sets of parents to have us, their children married as soon as we were of legal age. We got married as soon as I turned 18. Did we have anything to say about it? No. We had no plans of getting married, there was never any discussion about marriage until then. What I really just wanted was a reason to leave my parents' home permanently. I was so unhappy at home and the father of my kids came up with the plan. He said that in order for our union to be accepted by his parents and for me to fully move in with his family, is if he gets me pregnant. That was the ONLY plan. 

Three kids later, before my youngest turned 1 and before I even hit my 21st birthday, we had already broken up. I have been separated for 23 years now. 

Fast forward to 2000. Soon after I said yes, Max and I started planning a very simple wedding - just a ceremony and a cheap lunch with both our families, not more than 25 people. We even made a list of who our best man and maid of honor will be, who the ninongs and ninangs will be - we had a complete list! But a few weeks later, we found out from another lawyer that I needed to file for an annulment and that we had to prepare Php 350,000 for it, give or take. Naturally, it was something we couldn't afford.

Here we are 20 years later. If we had gotten married in December of 2000, we would still be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. It would have been nice. Anyway, for both of us, we are married and have been married for 20 years. 

And considering what we have been through together, what we had was and is a marriage and a beautiful one. 

Everyone knows that I got the better end of the deal because Max is extraordinary, he is a wonderful person. He is a fantastic father to the kids and a wonderful husband to me. He is also a very supportive business partner. But what makes him truly special is his willingness to help me cope with my mental health issues. Because of all the people I know, he is the only one who has an idea of what I have been through. And because we were friends even before we became a couple, he already had some idea of my ugly past, aside from the obvious predicament (of being married before and having three kids), he had some idea of what he signed up for and was committed to making our marriage work. 

Most people commend me for wearing many hats, but what most people don't know is that Max wears "more hats" than I do. He is a hands-on father, a supportive husband, a (wonderful!) son and brother, a fantastic writer (many are impressed, which is why we don't lose clients!), and a wonderful friend, not just to his friends but to me and my family members. He is also the head of the family and runs our household and our finances. He is even hands-on with our numerous cats! 

Before I get too emotional and find myself unable to finish this post, let me end by saying that what makes a marriage marriage is acceptance, selfless love, and 100% support. It also requires a steadfast commitment (daily if need be),  perseverance, and compromises. But the most important ingredient in a marriage is EMPATHY. 

Max was able to accept me in all of my frailty. He gives me 100% support and empathizes with me. And because we work together and are together 24/7, we have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and complement each other's weaknesses. We genuinely enjoy each other's company and never run out of things to talk about. 

Looking forward to celebrating 20 years this year with my forever love! 

The last sunset of 2019

As I sat in one of the cabins at the resort we went to (thanks to the generosity of our family ), I found myself thanking God for all the lessons we learned in the last decade.

In 2010, I decided to shift careers. I moved from Advertising to PR. This decision wasn't easy to make, but the Lord made it very clear to me that it was the best option for me and my family. Advertising was something I was passionate about and to give it up meant starting from scratch, but the Lord's message was clear so I obeyed. 

Just one year after, Max and I decided to do PR together but to be completely honest, I didn't want to start my own practice as I felt it was too soon in my career to do so. But again the Lord's message was clear, that this is where He wanted us to go, this is what He wanted us to do together, and so we again heeded the call to follow His direction. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. It changed both of us for the better. The last decade was full of ups and downs, but we learned so much from it both professionally and personally.

Fast forward to the last few years. 

We thought 2018 was rough until 2019 came. 2018 was all about making difficult but necessary decisions, while 2019 was about acceptance and change. 

2019 was bleak. It had been the most difficult year since starting our own PR practice. It was also extremely difficult for the family. 

January 2019 - My father arrived from the US, something we weren't financially ready for since we decided to break it off with some business partners just a few months before that. 

February 2019 - We discovered that re-setting up ROAR IMC (our own practice) was going to be tricky and very costly. We didn't have any money for capital and we weren't able to close the company while we had another company set up with other business partners. To cut the long story short, we couldn't revive the old company. We didn't want anybody to help us because we've been down that road before and it didn't work out. 

June 2019 - As much as we were all ecstatic that my eldest daughter was getting married to her best friend, the thought of her moving to another country was heartwrenching. Knowing that she will be living so far away from me, threw me back into a deep depression. 

But not everything about 2019 was depressing. A huge part of me was so happy that my eldest daughter not only graduated from college in 2018 but was also starting a life with a wonderful man. As a result, I now have two sons! That is something worth celebrating, even if not having her around was going to leave a huge void. 

October 2019 - Towards the latter part of the year, I contemplated returning back to being an employee. This decision was so difficult to make as I didn't want to abandon Max but it had to be done, for the love of the family. It will also help us set aside money so that we can eventually revive our old company. 

In summary, 2019 was so difficult and dark for me and my family, but most especially for me. I hadn't had any depressive episodes in years but I had numerous that year. It was horrible. I couldn't get myself to work or to study. I was crying all day every day for months at a time, and at certain times in the evening, I even got suicidal. 

But before the year ended, we were assured by God that everything happens for a reason, that we simply needed to trust; and so we did. And before we entered the new decade, God showed us what He meant when He promised that good things were coming.

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart". - Psalm 37:4 

Cheers to the new decade. 

Happy New Year!

from the Rockwell - Arroyos and the Gabriels.