Adversity, A Discovery of Self

Adversity introduces a man to himself.

-          H. L. MENCKEN

I have known adversity. In fact, I have regular doses of it. I think we all do, maybe some more than most. The thing about making huge mistakes in your life is that it has consequences, and sometimes you live with those consequences for all the days of your life. This has been my life, a life full of adversity; my life for the last 20 years.

By now you know I am a young Mother of three beautiful kids, now ages 20, 19, and 18; and yes all in College. I was 17 when I had my firstborn, my son, Simon Peter. I was 18 when I had my eldest daughter, Chesca. And I was 19 when I had my youngest, Sophia. I was also a high school graduate, with virtually no family to run to for help and guidance.

From left: Sophia, Simon, Chesca

Have you seen the movie Pursuit of Happyness? 

The movie is very close to my heart because the story of Chris Gardner is also very similar to my own story. I remember the days when I used to bring all three of my kids to work. And since I was in Sales Advertising, I had numerous big presentations. I would always be faced with the problem of where I can/should leave the kids while I'm at work. Sometimes, I would get to bring them, oftentimes I would have asked my friends or one of my then-sister-in-laws for help. If those options failed, I would leave them at the playground of Mc Donalds, praying that nobody notices that my kids didn’t have a parent or a yaya with them. I found myself “paying” the guard to look after my kids. Crying out to the heavens to keep my children from harm was a daily prayer.

No permanent home

I also remember moving from one home to another, looking for people who were willing to take us in because we didn’t have a permanent home. Life was really tough for us four. Adversity was so much a part of my life that I learned to deal with it, a day at a time, a problem at a time.

Problems are a part of life

Problems large and small, in different “shapes and sizes”, present themselves to us on a regular basis, regardless of who we are, no matter how well-off we are or financially challenged we are. We will all encounter struggles, difficulties, sadness, challenges, sorrow; heart - wrenching moments that we can’t escape from.

Whether we like it or not, adversity is part of life. In fact, overcoming adversity is one of the biggest hurdles we all have to face.

Learning to deal with and eventually overcoming adversity is what makes us who we are. Every challenge and every difficulty we successfully confront in life serves to strengthen our will, confidence, and ability to conquer future obstacles. It is also the best way for us to discover ourselves.

Herodotus, the Greek philosopher, said, "Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have lain dormant in its absence."

Around the time that I had to leave the father of my kids, I was only 20. I really didn’t know who I was, didn’t know what I was capable of, where my qualities lie; and most importantly, what my weaknesses were. I discovered all of this through introspection, which became my breakfast, lunch, and dinner during adversity.

My mistake, My problem

You might be thinking, why didn’t I ask for help from the father’s family? Why didn’t I obligate them to help? Or better yet, why didn’t I just allow them to take over? I was about to start a career in modeling (I already had pending projects, tv commercial projects for Colgate, Sunsilk, John Robert Powers etc.).  My then-in-laws really wanted to take over the kids, but according to them, they were only willing to take the kids if the kids stayed with them.

I tried. The kids stayed with my then father and mother-in-law in Baguio, for two weeks, I was living in Manila then. But I had to take them back after only for two weeks because I couldn’t take being away from them. I was crying the entire two weeks I was away from them. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep, so I took them back.

So many people were trying to convince me that my pride would not be able to feed my kids. But deep in my heart, I knew that there was a very good reason why the Lord blessed me with three kids. Back then though, I had to convince myself every day that God DID have a purpose for entrusting the kids to me. I also had to tell myself every day that it was my mistake therefore my kids were my “problem”.

There were so many times, too many to count when I felt I should just end my life so that the family of the father of my kids can take over.  But adversity allowed me to discover myself, and with the discovery of self came confidence and then hope. Adversity also allowed me to learn so many valuable lessons in life that one can only learn through overcoming adversity. On the flip side, I also discovered my ugly side during adversity (which we should probably save for another blog post-:-)).

When you respond positively and constructively to your biggest challenges, the qualities of strength, courage, character, and perseverance emerges from deep within your soul.

Yes, we are human and we go through self-pity, resentment, anger, and depression. But it is true what they say - Whatever doesn’t break you, makes you stronger. Adversity gives you opportunities to learn wisdom and valuable lessons in life.

Adversity strikes everyone. But it is how you deal with adversity that truly makes a HUGE difference. You can face it head-on or you can stick your head in the sand and pray it goes away. News flash: It NEVER does.

Life isn’t fair, that is the truth; it is also very hard.  We have NO CONTROL over that reality. But what we have control over is how we respond to life and its many obstacles.

We have the ability to fight these obstacles and we have the power to rise above them. Let us NOT allow adversity to prevent us from achieving what we dream of for ourselves or what we feel we are worthy of.

Also, we do not get “delivered from” adversity, we are “delivered in” adversity, which many say is the place where you find God and are one with Him. Adversity allowed me to “find” God again. As soon as I relied on God for strength, wisdom, and clarity; I learned how to have total dependence on God which allowed me to strengthen my FAITH in Him. When I allowed myself to think more clearly and to have faith in the all-knowing God, He continually gave me the grace to let go of self-pity and self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and get down to the business of dealing with what was before me.

When you are going through adversity in your life, look beyond the challenges. Capture a vision of who you can become when you do overcome your adversity – A person YOU WERE MEANT TO BE. While going through these obstacles, See the world of possibilities! See yourself through the eyes of God and His plans for you.

The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. If you deal with your problems all alone and refuse to rely on the strength that only comes from God above, you will have a hard time overcoming adversity. If you completely give of yourself physically, you become exhausted, and you feel defeated. But when you give of yourself spiritually, the good Lord supplies you with more strength. The more you trust, the more the good Lord provides for everything you need: may it be the strength to carry on, an immediate answer to your urgent problem, or the patience to wait.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not the one who does not feel fear, but he who conquers it! Optimism is fixing your eyes on God, looking toward the sun, and moving forward with hope and trust.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

God loves you!

The Art of Being Still.

One of my resolutions for this year is to find time to sustain this blog and post at least once per week. While I know that this promise to myself is a long shot, I am determined to continue what I have started. 

While currently having to juggle work, motherhood, and school; I still feel that being able to successfully maintain a blog will allow me to better manage my time (as a result of setting aside time to write), and provide me with the outlet I need. Writing allows me to put perspective on my life,  to remind myself of what I need to do, of how I should feel; and it provides me with the clarity I need (when I organize my thoughts through writing).

In this blog post, I want to share with you the Art of Being Still…

“Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.”  

- Charlotte Eriksson

I am the type of person whose mind is always full of thoughts and the racing thoughts can sometimes be deafening.  The noises in my head become louder and more crowded whenever a) I have a problem, b) when I am scared, c) when I am sad, d) when I do something wrong or bad, e) when I disappoint someone or f) when I have a supplication or a petition that I need an immediate solution to.  

When the thoughts in my mind get chaotic, I get really bad anxiety attacks. And when I get anxiety attacks, It feels as though someone is choking me. I get shortness of breath, and I even vomit when the attack gets really bad. I feel this STRONG, desperate need for immediate action. The feeling is so powerful, so overwhelming, that an inner turmoil begins and I lose control of myself.

When we are troubled, scared, and confused, especially when answers to our prayer petitions are delayed; there is this great temptation for us to despair, to feel helpless, hopeless, and to question whether God really cares for us or not. We become depressed and disheartened to the point where we question whether God exists or not.

 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dew).

The saying "When dew is on the grass, the rain will never come to pass" applies here.

According to Wikipedia: "Dew is water in the form of droplets that appears on thin, exposed objects in the morning or evening due to condensation. As the exposed surface cools by radiating its heat, atmospheric moisture condenses at a rate greater than that at which it can evaporate, resulting in the formation of water droplets". 

Just like the formation of dew, we need to cool down, to wait and be quiet; to be Still, Stay Still, and Keep Still, to allow God to work in us and for us; to have A Stillness born of Trust in the Almighty God.

Just like when we get our picture taken. We have to keep still in order for the photographer to capture our likeness on film. When we are in a hurry for answers, we deprive God of the opportunity to work on our behalf. We take action, thus depriving ourselves of the opportunity for God to show us that He really loves us.

Do you ever feel so physically and emotionally weak, so weak that you cease doing anything? When this happens, you lean on a shoulder of a loved one, correct? You rest completely on someone else, trusting in someone else’s strength.

Have you ever hit rock bottom where you are almost absolutely sure that there is no way out when you feel that maybe the Lord is punishing you, for one reason or another, just because He is silent? And when He is silent, you get wearier, more scared, and your anxiety grows. And you wonder and question why God is not answering your prayers, no matter how hard you pray, no matter how long, and no matter how sincere your prayers are.

“There are seasons when to still demand immeasurably higher strength 

than to act.”

Let me tell you something my friend, I can empathize completely. I feel this too. But you know what calms me when I am at my darkest and saddest hour? Is realizing that God’s ways are not my ways. 

Sometimes the seeming setbacks are not setbacks at all but “setups”, for our greatest days ahead. Remember Romans 8:28? 

While in prayer, stand firmly in the promise of God. The purpose of Prayer is to get a hold of God, not to get a hold of an answer from delays. He is at work everyday of our lives. And even if our petitions need immediate action, God's timing is never late; He is also never early. The Lord's timing is Perfect, and He is all-knowing.

"Doing nothing" and keeping still, demands much greater strength than taking action. When we are desperate for actions because we are either scared or overwhelmed, the actions we take are usually born out of impulse and desperation, lacking in thought  and wisdom. Trusting God and being still, restores in us a state of quiet alertness, ready to receive wisdom and guidance from our all-knowing God.

My resolve whenever I feel overwhelmed or scared, whenever God seems to be silent; I Stay and Keep Still. It is not easy, but the Lord has shown me that when I trust in Him, and have faith in Him, He will see me through my darkest hours. And because of this, He has not failed me, not even once! I may not get the answer or solution that I was praying for, but He has given me the solution I need. He is all-knowing, my friend. Trust that whatever solutions He gives, are the best solutions for us.  Trust that there is a reason for his "delays".

My Prayer: In Quiet Stillness, I will Trust. You Oh Lord shall be my strength and I will not falter. I will not lean on my own understanding. I will wait for your Wisdom to guide me. I will tell myself that it is okay that I am not strong enough because you will provide me with the strength I will need to endure my darkest hours. I will believe that you will provide me the Grace to Trust, To be Still, to Let Go, and Let You Take Care of Me.  Amen.

Friend, Be still. Let Go and Let God do His wondrous 

work in us and for us. 

Forgiving and Forgetting have been proven to be intertwined

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

For a very long time, I was able to convince myself that I have LONG forgiven my transgressors, especially the ones who have hurt me the most. I don't know about you but the people who have hurt me the most are those that I have loved and trusted unconditionally. Sadly, the gravity of the pain these people have directly or indirectly caused were the hardest to forget.

I have had to struggle with Forgiving and Forgetting. All these years, I pretended I had forgiven the people who have hurt me the most. In fact, I would often hear myself saying, that I have forgiven, but have not forgotten, whenever I am reminded of the hurt they have caused. It only dawned on me that I have not only not forgotten, but have also "NOT forgiven", was when I came across a topic in the Psychology of Science Medical Journal about the Psychology of Forgiving and Forgetting, and the fact they are so intertwined that you can't have one without the other.

The study was done by three psychology students (Saima Noreen, Malcolm Mac Leod, Raynette Bierman) of the University of St. Andrews, Scotland. The objective of the study was to answer two very important questions:  Does forgiving help us forget? Or does forgetting empower us to forgive? 

According to Saima Noreen, the link between forgiving and forgetting is made possible by one's mind’s executive control system which gives us the ability to keep upsetting memories out of consciousness.

The three students invited volunteers and studied their general tendencies to "forgive others’ transgressions". They simulated scenarios depicting hypothetical wrong-doings like Slander, Infidelity, Theft; and the transgressor was either a friend, a partner, a parent (or parents), or a colleague. The scenarios depicted had consequences, but with the transgressors' attempt at making amends at the end. 

Questions like: "How serious was the offense?" "How hurtful?" "How sympathetic were they towards the transgressor?" "Forgive or not, Yes or No", were used.

And then the volunteers were subjected to a memory test where they actively tried to forget words associated with the "incidents" simulated with the premise, and the result was undeniable: An Act of Forgiving increased the victim’s ability to forget and put misfortunes out of awareness. The ability to forget unpleasantness was very much linked to the actual act of forgiving, and not just the propensity to be gracious, that Forgiving and Forgetting reinforced one another in the human mind.

Forgiveness is effortful at first. People who manage it are better at setting aside bitter thoughts. But according to the study, Forgetting may in turn provide an effective coping strategy, enabling people to move on and ultimately find forgiveness in their hearts.

"There's no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put up a 

marker on the site."

All these years, I thought to myself that what was important was that I have forgiven the sins, that forgiveness was something that I needed to do, but that forgetting was something no one can demand or expect from me, simply because I was only human. But then I realized after reading the study that it really Trust that takes time, not so much “Forgetting” what actually happened.

I also realized that by not forgiving (and forgetting), I was actually harboring past hurts, and harboring past hurts, can take a toll on your health, and your happiness.

Forgetting especially trusting again is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and it is a decision I have to make every day.  I continue to make this decision (of forgiving, forgetting, and hopefully one day trusting again), because of the following reasons…

a) We all make mistakes.

b) We are all weak.

c) That the person is worth forgiving.

But the most important reason is that I want to be released from the chains that bind me. If there is one thing I know, is that by not forgiving, I am living in the past. The essence of forgiveness is reminding yourself that you can never change what happened, but that it does not mean the past will still continue to prevent you from being happy, this includes letting go of your anger for the person/s and the wrong doing/s.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." 

- Mahatma Gandhi

If you're just holding on to anger because you're hurt, try these steps:

1.       Look at the situation objectively instead of personally.

2.       Acknowledge that you will have to forgive in order to move forward.

3.       Trust that the person who wronged you is really sorry.

4.       Know that your friend (probably) did not try to hurt you intentionally.

5.       Accept the lesson (if there is one).

I have LOST COUNT of the number of times the good Lord has forgiven me. Do I want him to judge me, the same way I am judging the person who hurt me the most? Forgiving others should be the same as God forgives us – Immediate and for all. You wouldn’t want him to play favorites, do you? I pray that I see everyone through God’s eyes of Grace and Forgiveness.

"Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast." - Marlene Dietrich

Source:
Psychology of Forgiving

That one thing I hate about myself...

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ― Ambrose Bierce

If there is one thing that I really DETEST (as in LOATHE) about myself, it is my temper.

You may say that ANGER is normal and is very much a part of life because we all get angry. But if you have a temper as short as mine, you will probably think it is not normal at all. 

While anger can result in something positive and is even considered a healthy emotion at times like standing up for injustice, for instance. Or if there is a situation where you feel threatened, you can retaliate through anger and protect yourself from danger. But if you find yourself having a short fuse over the littlest things, it can take a toll on your health; even your relationships. 


Anger in the family 

Family and your relationship with your family members, inadvertently define you. A family is the basic unit of society and family members are our first teachers, they are the strongest contributors to the development of our character. Growing up, my family's influence was alternately something I would consciously negate, or inadvertently succumb to. I also have desperately tried to understand the anger that was very much present in our family, especially within our extended family.

When anger is deeply entrenched in one's family, it spreads itself much like a virus to its future generations. The wider the spread, the more difficult the anger is to contain. 

How can you tell if anger is deep-seated and is present in your family? Just look around you and see how the members of your family relate to one another. Remember that your earliest experience with your family is in communicating and relating to them, so if there are unresolved issues within the family brought about by anger (whether it's because of rage, temper tantrums, or bottled up anger towards each other); the issues will eventually reflect in how your family members relate to one another. The sad part of all of this is that the patterns of anger in early relationships when deep-seated, will reflect even in relationships outside the family. 


But what is Anger?

According to Wikipedia: "Anger is an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged, or denied, and a tendency to react through retaliation". Anger triggers the body’s ‘fight or flight response. You either face it head-on, or you try to withdraw from the situation to protect yourself.

There are two types of ANGER: 
Anger explosions where some people have very little control over their anger and tend to explode in rages. People who become slaves to their temper, eventually isolate themselves from friends and love ones. 
Anger repression in which some people consider that anger is an inappropriate or ‘bad’ emotion, and choose to suppress it. However, bottled anger often turns into depression and anxiety.



The Propensity for Anger

I have known Anger. I have had to deal with anger all my life. Every time it knocks on my door, I invite it in. I recall hundreds of times that I allowed anger to get the better of me. The ugliness that is anger, turned me inside out. I rationalized my anger too many times. I have also rationalized violent retaliation. I have told myself countless times that I tried to be forgiving and understanding, but that the provocation was too much. But the truth is, I know that this is a convenient excuse, an excuse so convenient that at some point, I just accepted that my anger is part of me and it is something I have to accept. 

Dealing with anger is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Imagine having no control over it, feeling overwhelmingly helpless that you eventually find yourself giving in. The thing about anger is that it is so powerful an emotion that if it is allowed to fester, it can manifest itself in a very violent and destructive way. Yes, it can start with a little annoyance, but it can later lead to a destructive (blinded) rage, at times directed, not just to one person but to everyone.

Since I have dealt with anger for most of my life, I have come to realize that it has resided deep in my soul and has now affected my reactions, my ability to love, and to understand. It has gotten to a point where my relationships were very much affected by it, some were even so irreversibly damaged that the relationships eventually ended. 


Dealing with Anger

If you feel out of control, walk away from the situation until you cool down. Reflect and pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel angry. I have started keeping a journal of my outbursts so that I can attempt to understand why I got mad in the first place. I also realized that people who are stressed like me, are more likely to experience anger. 

As part of my commitment to deal with my anger issues, I have also promised my family to enroll at a gym and to learn how to meditate or do yoga. Studies have documented that regular exercise can improve mood and reduce stress levels. The effects of this, I was told, were twofold: physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts the production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins. 


Recognizing one's anger is the first step to resolution

You first need to learn to recognize your anger. You need answers to questions like:

"How do I know when I am angry?"
"What events/people/places/things make me angry?"
"How do I react when I'm angry?"
"How does my angry reaction affect others?"

You should also start recognizing Physiological Signs of Anger. The first step in effective anger management is to learn how to recognize when you are angry. I am an angry person and I see my emotions as either black or white, that I am either in a rage or I am calm. The truth is, anger is neither black nor is it white. Anger builds up and there are certain signs to determine if the sheer annoyance is building up into full-blown anger.

People like me who see anger in terms of extremes, oftentimes have difficulty recognizing the build-up. Luckily, most people experience a number of physical, emotional, and behavioral signs to warn them of impending rage. 

Some other physical signs of anger include increased and rapid heart rate, shaking or trembling, and sometimes even dizziness.

After some introspection, I discovered that I too feel physical signs like headache and stomachache (hyper-acidity) when I am starting to get extremely irritated.

Emotionally you may feel like you want to get away from the situation. You feel irritated, sad, or depressed, you feel guilty or resentful, anxious; you feel like you want to strike out verbally or physically (this I feel, all the time).

You may also notice that you start rubbing your head (Max does this!).
You start cupping your fist with your other hand. You start pacing. You start getting sarcastic. You start losing your sense of humor and you start acting in an abusive or abrasive manner. And of course, you start raising your voice; you even begin to yell or scream. Others start craving a drink, a smoke, or other substances that can relax. 

Recognizing these signs will help you prevent outbursts. Remember you still have control over your anger when it is still in its early stage, but when it starts building up, it might be too late.


Learn to ask for forgiveness

If all else fails, learn how to ask for forgiveness and resolve to be more conscious of the consequences of your actions, and the repercussions of your misplaced anger, and commit to being more aware of the physical and emotional signs, the next time you get annoyed or irritated.

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.” - Aristotle

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems not people; to focus your energies on answers, not excuses.” - William Arthur Ward

They said I should write what I know

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” ― William Wordsworth

I have always wanted to write and I prayed that the good Lord would grant me the ability to write, the same way he blessed my mother. For most of my childhood, I remember asking God every night to change the course of my life and make me more like my mother; at least in that sense.

Here is a photo of my mother in her late 20s

When I met Max and he told me that writing has a lot more to do with what you know rather than how you write (your form), I decided that it was time for me to start a blog. At first, I figured that no one had to know I had a blog as not all blogs are meant to be public. But then so many of my friends said that all I needed to do was to write from the heart and to write what I know, so here I am with my 3rd post for the year (A huge feat for me!).



So, what do I know? If there is one thing I know, one thing I am certain of; is that God is GOOD and is Faithful through each of our trials. It may not feel that way, but He is, and will always be.

How do I know this?

Remember my last post, where I shared with you a verse in the bible? Can I repost it again to refresh your memory?

I am of the belief that everything that happens to you is (somewhat) ordained by God. Yes, we do have our free will, but He is all-knowing; He already knows your decisions even before you make them. When my life falls apart, I see this as God's way of testing my faithfulness to Him. When a prayer is either delayed or unanswered, I know that the answer to my prayer (whether it was the one I was praying for or God's own answer to my prayer), is close behind.

Burning and Shining Brightly, as a result of the Fire 

I also see my tribulations as a chance to look inward; to reflect, to examine my soul (with courage I might add), and I know it won't be long until the Lord reveals what is truly inside of me; whether it is resentment, anger, hate, bitterness, sadness, pride, or even envy. It takes a lot of courage to accept the things that are revealed when you look inwardly with courage, especially during your darkest hour. But I am comforted knowing that He is in the shadows watching over me, as I go through my troubles. I am comforted knowing that I am truly not alone.

The trick is to be still, to trust in God when troubles arise; allowing God to work in us through our suffering. There is a saying that when the fire in our life is the hottest, we should stand still as God will produce his harvest in us.


Trials are the food of Faith, And Faith is being certain of what We Do Not See.                                
Do you know that when this happens, I remind Him (God) of His promises to me? And do you also know that the Good Lord cannot say NO? During times of affliction is when I hold God to His promises. Do you also know that God's timing is perfect? He is never early and is never late. So when I am in a very dark place, I pray for strength so that I do not rush Him because trouble and darkness are meant to teach me. Liberated by the shackles and untouched by the furnace, ika nga :-).

Mantra: Victors in the Conflict and Rich in Poverty. Yes, these things are hard but with faith, they can be done. I should end my blog before I get overly preachy.

As an end to my blog post, allow me to leave you with words that have comforted me in my darkest hour:

It is through the most difficult trials that God often brings 

the sweetest discoveries of Him. 

It is in our Weakest that God works at His Strongest.

God bless you!

All, for the sake of an update...

I have not updated my blog in months, so much for committing to blog on a regular basis. My last post was March, can you believe that?

Okay, I think I have not really introduced myself yet. For those of you who only know me either from high school, college, or even professionally but do not really know me beyond that; allow me the privilege of (re) introducing myself. 

If I were to describe myself, I would say that I am a fairly young mother of three beautiful teenagers ages 19, 18, and 17. My eldest (son's) name is Simon, he is 19. My eldest daughter is Chesca, who is now 18. While my loving bunsoy Sophia, just turned 17 last February. I still get so surprised when I am reminded each day that all my kids are practically grown ups! Can you imagine that! 

Here is a recent photo of my precious angels (from left: Chesca, Sophia, Simon)

I would also say that I work in PR (wow, that sounded ironic considering the very lame introduction I just gave!). Reason for this pretty lame intro is that if there happens to be one thing about my life that I will refuse to change (yes, even if I was offered a do-over by God, walang halong showbiz); I would still prefer to be a young mother. Maybe a part of me would request to have them a little later in my life (just so I can provide for them better); but my having them early in life (I had my son, my eldest, at the age of 17); made me who I am today. So no regrets! :-D. Seriously! (Like I said, this is not your typical showbiz response :-)). 

I was in Advertising for over 15 years when I decided to shift careers and to move to practicing PR. I always say to the people I meet, that I am the only person they will meet in the PR industry that does not write! I do have A WHOLE LOT of experience though, which I am sure counts for something. In fact, my partner Max and I put up an agency less than two years ago! Will you give us an A for being gutsy? :-D

Max and I at an event, no sleep for days but still happy to work!

We put up an agency called ROAR IMC (Integrated Marketing Communications) Services. We chose the name ROAR for three very good reasons. One is that the truth of the matter is, it is a combination of your last names ROckwell ARroyo. Second reason is that we both love the feline species! Last but the most important reason is that as an agency, this is our message: We help our clients find their ROAR in the marketplace. Oh diba, clever? :-)

https://www.facebook.com/ROARCOMM

My mother was a GREAT writer (God bless her soul). Growing up knowing this and realizing I did not have a knack for writing, actually made me question God, a lot. There were a lot of waking hours just wondering (and asking!) why she was great and I was not. Okay, so the questions were mostly in the realm of why I was so different from her not so much about my resenting the fact that I did not inherit her writing prowess. It was just that there were so many things about her that made her great, that made her who she was; that made me want to be like her. She was very intelligent, she dressed very elegantly (was overdressed for practically every occasion). She spoke very well and so eloquently if I may add. She was profound. She was also very soft spoken and demure. So you see why I had to question God? The fruit fell VERY FAR from the tree so to speak!

Here is a photo of my mom (her Assumption HS grad pic)

I remember my older sister would tease me a lot, that I was an adopted child; and so growing up, a part of me believed that it might be true! But then when I got older, I started looking like her (my Mom; I can never thank God enough for making it up to me through this!), and so I had to concede to what was pretty obvious, that maybe I was not adopted after all :-).

This is my sister Sigried, and her husband Dwayne. They are both in the army. HOOAH!

I still LLOOVVVEEE advertising, very much so. But somewhere along the way, being a young single mother and all; I decided (with a HEAVY HEART if I may add), to compromise. Instead of continuing working in/for/at an advertising agency, I ventured instead in Sales Advertising because of the promise of more money (commissions / incentives offered in Sales) - all for the love of my three angels.

My father for most of his career, was an advertising man. He started out with Ace Compton (now Saatchi), O&M (which was formerly Olbes O&M), and at J. Romero (his longest stint, worlked with JRo for 11 years), before he put up his own agency (Charisms, Inc.). My father handled brands like Pepsi (in its prime), Metro Drug, and Eskinol (in its early years). 

When I first started in advertising, I was so amazed that everyone knew my father! Growing up (yes around the time that I was resenting God for creating me very differently from my Mom), people were saying that I was so much like my father. I did not want to accept this because I wanted to be like my mother (instead of my father), but I have since been extremely grateful for God's wisdom because he knew the decisions I would make in my life especially the decisions that led to so much failure in my life (to happen). He knew that I will only be able to overcome my so-called tragedies if I was more like my father rather than my mother. I am now able to live comfortably, thanks to the gifts I inherited from my father.

This photo was taken two decades ago, when I was receiving an award for academic excellence in Sta. Rosa, Makati. (thats me with my beautiful and very spiritual parents. I was only 7 years old here.)

My last stint in Advertising before I changed practices, was with a Digital Ad Agency. And the longest stint in my career was with a media publication. You can say I have tried everything. I have worked for an ad agency, ventured into Sales Advertising. Worked for Image Bank (my first real job, formerly owned by Kodak, now owned by Getty Images) where I "served" several creative directors and print producers). I have also done radio (a bit of radio broadcasting as a host for a one hour religious show at an am station). I have done tv (secured advertising placements for a religious show, hosted by the late Chat Silayan whom I really cared for dearly, who was so nice to me). I have sold advertising space for a glossy, a free tabloid, and finally for a broadsheet. This was my last (and longest!) stint in my advertising career. I was connected, for eight long years, with a Media Organization / Publication.

Oh what the heck, it was with the Philippine Daily Inquirer, and I am proud to say that I worked for them for a very long time (long time for me!). PDI was and is still very much a second home to me. I will always be proud of my stay in PDI.

The very famous Marcos flees issue!

This was the very first issue of PDI

I worked for DPC too, for almost a year, 

EYP's Kitam Guru! 

before I decided to go back to advertising, but this time to try my luck in digital for a change. This was short lived though as I felt I was too old to learn new tricks. I do have to admit that despite the shortness of my stint in digital advertising, I really learned a lot from it; and I was fortunate enough to handle one of the biggest advertisers in the Philippines (oh no wait, in the world, pala! Clue, starts with the letter U! :-)).

After my very, very short digital stint; was when I decided that PR was the most logical next step (as I was in media the longest, out of all my advertising exposure and immersion). So, here I am!

Okay, so maybe my introduction was not so lame after all. I was able to share with you a summary of what I have been doing for the last 19 or so years. 

Next year marks a very important milestone in my life. I would be working for 20 years next year. I started work very early, 18 (working as a cashier when I was 17 does not count!), which means next year marks my 20th year in career land. 

What have I learned in the 19 years that I have been working? Oh I learned A WHOLE LOT, but may I please save the kwentos for my next blog post? :-D hehe.

As an end to my post, I would like to share with you a very important verse in the bible which has helped me in the last 17 years of my life. I was reminded of this verse just today during the preaching of one of our favorite pastors (Pastor Alan Crichett) in the church we go to in Alabang and I would like to share this verse with you. 

www.etsy.com

If you are expecting an extremely stressful week, brace yourself! But do not allow stress or worry to consume you because God is right beside you, journeying with you; just like in the footprints in the sand story!

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I hope you all have a wonderful work week! Always remember: GOD LOVES YOU!