While I was on Instagram, I received a message from a friend; it appeared to be a reply to a year old post. She messaged me to tell me how happy she was that I found "my forever" in Max.
To put you in context, below is the post she responded to.
18th Anniversary Snapshots.
Whenever I tell people that Max and I have been together for 18 years, they are amazed at how long we have been together. Max and I feel like we have known each other our whole lives. I personally can't picture my life without him anymore.
But do you know what else? As you allow yourself to not just be with someone this long, but to love a person with everything that you are for this long, you also know what it feels like to be hurt by him, and you also know the extent of your power to hurt him, too.
I've been suffering from mental illness probably my whole life, but it got worse over the years. Max saw me through it all, and he continues to journey with me every time I would get insecure, insanely jealous, and possessive. He saw me through bouts of depression, and several suicide attempts, and saw me through very difficult times when I struggled with my debilitating panic attacks. He holds my hand and puts me to sleep when I get nightmares/flashbacks. You can say that I am here with you now typing this because of him. He is one of the reasons why I know the Lord loves me in spite of my inadequacies and frailty (maybe more so because of my numerous weaknesses) because He sent me my very own angel on Earth.
Praise be to God for our 18 years together. Praying for 18 more.
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It is very easy to remember how many years Max and I have been together because we decided to make our relationship official in October of 2000 so this year, 2020, we will be celebrating our 20th year! Can you imagine that?
TWENTY LONG years! Who would have thought we would survive 20 long years! But honestly, a part of me knew he was and will always be the ONLY ONE for me. Of course, I cannot speak for Max, but I think it's safe to assume that he feels the same way, and I am glad that he does.
Max and I became an official couple in October of 2000, but unknown to most people, we were supposed to get married in December of that year. What most people don't know is that Max never asked me to be his girlfriend first. What he asked me on October 26 back in 2000, is if I could be his wife; that is the kind of man Max is. If you ask him why he will just say that he took the lessons he learned from the movie Jerry Maguire seriously.
Jerry Maguire the movie was shown in 1996, the year before I met Max. The Lord wanted him to watch the movie before he met me, and I don't think that was a coincidence.
When I got pregnant at 16, my parents (and the father's) wanted us to live together without sinning further so my Mom sought help from the roman catholic church and Cardinal Sin (who was a friend of my mother) assigned a priest that would give both me and the father (fine, my boyfriend) a blessing called 'Pastoral Compassion' which according to him was recognized by the Vatican and given to "special cases" such as ours. This blessing also came with a commitment from both sets of parents to have us, their children married as soon as we were of legal age. We got married as soon as I turned 18. Did we have anything to say about it? No. We had no plans of getting married, there was never any discussion about marriage until then. What I really just wanted was a reason to leave my parents' home permanently. I was so unhappy at home and the father of my kids came up with the plan. He said that in order for our union to be accepted by his parents and for me to fully move in with his family, is if he gets me pregnant. That was the ONLY plan.
Three kids later, before my youngest turned 1 and before I even hit my 21st birthday, we had already broken up. I have been separated for 23 years now.
Fast forward to 2000. Soon after I said yes, Max and I started planning a very simple wedding - just a ceremony and a cheap lunch with both our families, not more than 25 people. We even made a list of who our best man and maid of honor will be, who the ninongs and ninangs will be - we had a complete list! But a few weeks later, we found out from another lawyer that I needed to file for an annulment and that we had to prepare Php 350,000 for it, give or take. Naturally, it was something we couldn't afford.
Here we are 20 years later. If we had gotten married in December of 2000, we would still be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. It would have been nice. Anyway, for both of us, we are married and have been married for 20 years.
And considering what we have been through together, what we had was and is a marriage and a beautiful one.
Everyone knows that I got the better end of the deal because Max is extraordinary, he is a wonderful person. He is a fantastic father to the kids and a wonderful husband to me. He is also a very supportive business partner. But what makes him truly special is his willingness to help me cope with my mental health issues. Because of all the people I know, he is the only one who has an idea of what I have been through. And because we were friends even before we became a couple, he already had some idea of my ugly past, aside from the obvious predicament (of being married before and having three kids), he had some idea of what he signed up for and was committed to making our marriage work.
Most people commend me for wearing many hats, but what most people don't know is that Max wears "more hats" than I do. He is a hands-on father, a supportive husband, a (wonderful!) son and brother, a fantastic writer (many are impressed, which is why we don't lose clients!), and a wonderful friend, not just to his friends but to me and my family members. He is also the head of the family and runs our household and our finances. He is even hands-on with our numerous cats!
Before I get too emotional and find myself unable to finish this post, let me end by saying that what makes a marriage marriage is acceptance, selfless love, and 100% support. It also requires a steadfast commitment (daily if need be), perseverance, and compromises. But the most important ingredient in a marriage is EMPATHY.
Max was able to accept me in all of my frailty. He gives me 100% support and empathizes with me. And because we work together and are together 24/7, we have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and complement each other's weaknesses. We genuinely enjoy each other's company and never run out of things to talk about.
Looking forward to celebrating 20 years this year with my forever love!
