Another lesson for stubborn ol me...

Last Saturday I attended a seminar called Baptism in the Holy Spirit where you can ask specifically for gifts from the Holy Spirit. From among the gifts (and also the fruits) of the Holy Spirit, I only asked for two (2) namely: Gift of Wisdom and Gift of Knowledge.


For years I have always acted on impulse. Every decision that I have in the past were all out of impulse. While I would wallow on these things for weeks, months, even years, the final decision was always done hastily. But in every decision that I made, God was there to, well, rescue me from my recklessness and thoughtlessness.


My prayers to him every time I had a big decision to make, would always have one theme – “Bahala ka na Lord. You have always been there for me. Be there when I make this decision.” And every time my total dependence on His grace and providence rescued me from my recklessness.


Yesterday after work (went to work on a Sunday, yes), the Lord arranged my schedule so that I can attend Sunday service. Work broke up early and I had the time to travel from Ortigas to Alabang to make it in time for church. My good friend Apple at the time was insisting I attend church because the topic is going to center on “God’s faithfulness”. I already felt a nudge to attend as this topic was what I really needed to hear, to be reminded that at the end of all of THIS, is evidence of his continued faithfulness to me. But because of my stubbornness, my over-all weakness, (I will not elaborate on this anymore), overcame the need for me to go to church, I was consumed and could not see the seeming signs that the Lord was showing to me in order for me to attend church and not be carried away by my self-pity. The weak person that I am, I succumbed to this weakness and played a deaf ear to His “whispers”.


To cut the long story short, I almost got the scare of my life. I was assaulted by a stalker and could not go home until late that night. Because of this assault, I now have a burn on my right leg, which serves as a reminder of two things: that if you ask for wisdom and knowledge from God, you should also have the good sense and the obedience to follow. And second to not try to control everything, to be still, know that He is God and that He is working on my situation.


Lord, please be more stern with me as I continue to walk in your goodness and mercy. I may not have the understanding for what it is that you wish for me to learn but I am willing to take on this journey with confidence because I know you will never forsake me.